Claire is gone. . . gone . . . gone. . .

So Claire left tonight. And it was really really really emotional and sad. For all of us - Charlie, Sol, Sarah, and Christen. Although, I would have to say some of the open emotions came the girls. For Charlie, Claire leaving just wasn't as moving as Avatar!! Ha-ha! Just kidding - he was just saving the tears :) So, I had a million things happen today, but after Claire left, none of that really matters anymore because there are 2 different types of mattering. Things that matter and then things that you can really feel that matter. And I can really feel that Claire has left, so I decided to dedicate this blog to you, Claire. When you read this, you will be in the U.S. - considering even if you caught wireless somewhere - the netbook "crapped out" as you so eloquently put!!!

Dear Claire,

The reason I feel so empty isn't because I just said goodbye to a best friend - because it is. It isn't because I am going to miss you - because I am. It isn't because you have become my family in only 7 wks. of being together - because you did. But, Claire, I don't know, I guess it is just a combination of everything. It is the fact that I became so close with you, Claire - and when we were together, of course I never really thought of us being apart. It hurts so much just because I love you and love being with you and I of course did not want you to leave. It is not that you are going half the world away, but it is just that you are leaving this home . . . our home . . . ICRISAT.

I never thought ahead to the goodbye scene - or the fact that you would actually leave and I would actually need to say goodbye to you. I mean, it was always just a fact that you would leave a week before me and that was fine. That was the plan. But then feelings came into the mix. . .

Claire, I am so happy to have met you. I think the world of you. You are such a beautiful and wonderful and fun and spontaneous and caring person. I am so happy for you to be going home to your friends and your family that love you and miss you so much. Know that we will love and miss you so much as well. And I don't usually express emotions in front of others - and you usually don't cry when leaving places, but we both know that all went out the window tonight.

So, when I wake up tomorrow, I won't wait for you to go to breakfast - but I will think of you. And when I see strange fictional meditating men on the roof (hahahha!!!!) I won't come and wake you up - and you won't need to be so nice - even though I seriously just woke you up for fictional meditating men. And when I get 5 and a half hrs. of homework for one night and don't start until 10 o'clock at night b/c of supper and life, I won't get to watch you peacefully slumber during our sleepover (b/c once again, you saved me from a "sceerrry sicheation"!! :)). And when it monsoons outside, we won't frolick like wild banshees while the strangers watch from under the shelter, but I will appreciate every drop double - once for me and once for you. And when I am sick - well, I won't get sick again, but, yeah, I won't keep going with that one. You were just the best and the kindest and the most awesome visiting nurse around.

When we had our first great chat in the pool and our times trying to get the perfect toe-touch shot and the 4th of July celebration - and - and - and. . . the list goes on. We have had amazing times together. The reason it was so hard to say goodbye was because you really left. Left after like 2 months together - and I would have been happy w/ you as my neighbor and practically roomie for what seems like forever. You know, now you will go to college and I will go to college - and we won't bbe able to be there for each other. But it feels like we should be. Like just a few steps away will be the most wonderful person I can think of to talk to. So Claire, I am sad it is over because I will be happy forever that it happened.

I want all the best for you. And I am praying for you to meet some cool people, get some good sleep, travel safely (and hopefully painlessly on the planes), see all that is awaiting you in Iowa. . . I can't wait to get the details of life back home - and food - and friends - and fun. The American meals you have - the fresh veggies from the farm. Claire, life is crazy. How it makes you pick up and move just when you were settled down. With your schedule - your life - your friends who double as family. Your home. So, I am feeling "uggh" right now and better brush my teeth and decide what to do with myself. I will be seeing you again and I am excited for that. Since we can't be with each other at college, I hope to at least visit each other.

Tonight, I stopped by the throne and of course the mosquitoes would need to come attack - 2 at once - bombarded. I was going to kill them, but then was just so sad that I will have to kill all the mosquitoes myself now - I just cried!! And then . . . I made you proud. And I got 'em. Both. Not before one got me - and there was still one left - but I said, "Well, what's the point? I can't kill 'em for Claire anymore - now it is just me." I can play sly avoidance - or lose blood trying! So, I just know you are proud in your heart even though I couldn't celebrate with you.

I hope you are ok now and will be happy soon and enjoy being at your old home too. You will love to see everyone I just know. I love you Claire. I will keep in touch. You are one heck of an awesome person.

Thank you more than thank you can ever say.

Loads of Love Indian fam,

Leah Marie Abigail Lucas
. . . till the WFP Conference in October it is!. . . when we will . . . REUNITE!! WHOO-HOO! :)